Blog

Are You Polite?

If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything. It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. Once you’ve said it you can’t take it back. You can disagree without being disagreeable and on and on it goes. There are many, many clichés. Many wise words of counsel speaking to the need […]

Are You Consistently Connected?

On a hill overlooking the ocean in Otsuchi Town in northeastern Japan is a phone booth known as the “Telephone of the Wind”. It is connected to nowhere, but people come to “call” family members lost during the tsunami of the 2011 Great East Japan Earthquake. Many visit the phone booth including a mother and […]

Is It Possible to Over Communicate?

How Do You Deal With Angry and Hostile People?

Laura and I were recently pulled over by a police officer while out riding our motorcycle. It was a beautiful Sunday and we had a great day. On our way home, about a block from home, there is a four way stop. I came to a complete stop but did not put my feet down […]

Does Donald Trump Matter?

Yes he does and he should matter to you! Not because of who he is and what he says. Not because of his ironic popularity. But because of the EXACT reason that he is popular. Trump is a fascinating study in what it takes to influence and what it takes to be followed. Donald Trump […]

Are you and Explainer or an Explorer?

Little kids ask a lot of questions in a single day. By the time we become adults, we ask very few questions. Most of the reason for that is that we have been taught that answers get us A’s. Answers prove we are smart. Answers make us feel certainty, and certainty builds confidence. There is […]

How Influential Are You?

One of the most asked questions I get is, “How do I get my (employees, kids, spouse, partner etc) to be more motivated, more focused, more driven, more engaged, or more whatever?” While there are hundreds of people who will give you three points and a poem for how to do that, I would encourage […]

Have You Tried Listening?

For years and years and years people have talked about how important listening is. Books are written, seminars are taught, coaches encourage it and bosses expect it. But for some reason most people are pathetic at it. Even after all the lectures, books and teaching most are just not willing to listen. I hereby challenge […]

Do You Know How To Shut Up?

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and they made their point, but just had to add a few other comments? Or, how about listening to a speaker that said “in closing” 5 times before they actually closed? I was recently working with two people that were attempting to resolve a conflict. At […]

Is Honesty REALLY the Best Policy?

Have you ever had someone say something to you that upset you, made you mad, or otherwise hurt your feelings? When you point that out, have they said, “Well, I am just being honest!” Doesn’t that make you want to say — “Well, lie a little!” So many times people use honesty as a weapon. […]

Do You Speak Your Truth?

In our professional and personal lives, most of the success we encounter is the direct result of speaking our truth. Speaking our truth is about how we communicate to ourselves and to those around us. I have found that the times in my life when I have found myself in the best place is when […]

Do You Tend to be Frank or Diplomatic?

Being able to communicate effectively is probably the most important skill a person can have. My hope is that you are both frank and diplomatic. The concept of blending seemingly opposite communication styles so that you operate most efficiently is critical to being effective personally and professionally. While being both frank and diplomatic is a […]

How Politically Correct Are You?

I am very tired of having to watch everything I say to make sure I don’t offend anyone. Sure, I understand there are some things that are unquestionably offensive and I do my absolute best not to offend anyone intentionally, but come on!! Christmas Day is a national holiday – do we all understand that? […]

Communicating With The Opposite Gender

WARNING: Contrary to my usual tendency, I am writing a much longer newsletter this month. I STRONGLY urge you to read the whole thing. Recently I have received numerous requests for this topic and so I am giving you the full meal deal this month. Be open to what you read here… it will make […]

Has a Lack of Clarity Ever Created Trouble for you?

It has for me, THAT’S for sure. At the time of this writing, the Malaysian Airlines 777 hasn’t been found. Not only has it not been found but it seems that those at the airline are wandering around in the wilderness. Were it not for the support and help of the international community there is […]

Do You Jump To Conclusions?

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who was very upset about a text message she received from someone she was dating. On and on she went over what it said…..and the “attitude and emotion” of the text. Clearly there is no emotion in a text, and people certainly can’t […]

Are You ‘Out Of The Box’?

Those of you that have been reading this blog for a while realize that I really dislike clichés. In fact, I dislike them so much that I regularly make fun of them. So you may be puzzled as to why I chose the first comments of 2013 to have a cliché at their core. The […]

Have you Tried Listening?

For years and years and years, people have talked about how important listening is. Books are written, seminars are taught, coaches encourage it and bosses expect it. But for some reason most people are pathetic at it. Even after all the lectures, books and teaching, some people are just not willing to listen. I hereby […]

Effective Communication

If there is one skill that is critical to your professional and personal success, it is the skill of communicating effectively. I am not sure there is any other single thing that can create better (or worse) relationships than communication. We all seem to know that, but many have a hard time focusing on developing […]