Hi everybody, this is Mondays with Mike, a weekly video series where I answer questions from people just like you.
I’m a reasonably successful man, and I’m 61 years old. There have been moments of success in my life and moments of failure. Sometimes I look around and I think that nice guys really do finish last. While most people would look at my life and think that I’ve “made it”, it feels like I have not achieved enough and can’t get a break. Am I a whiner or do you have other thoughts?
Well no, you’re not a whiner. That’s kind of a sad question though! We’re going to break this question down.
“I’m a reasonably successful man.” Congratulations! By some people’s standards, you’re probably a very successful person, by others, probably not as successful. So, first of all, acknowledge the fact and give yourself permission to be successful. Reasonable success is no small accomplishment!
“There have been moments of success in my life and moments of failure.” Completely normal! You can talk to a 10-year-old, or you can talk to a 100-year-old, and they would say the exact same thing. So I want you to make it reasonable and normal that you have had both periods of success and periods of failure.
“Sometimes I look around and I think that nice guys really do finish last.” Here’s a heads up for you… sometimes nice guys do finish last! But so do not nice guys, so do not nice women, and nice guys and nice women… all of us sometimes finish last in some areas. That’s just the way it goes. I think it’s important to understand that because you’re obviously not going to finish last if you are a reasonably successful person. Those two cannot live together. Now, let me acknowledge that it probably does feel that way. And as I’ve said in a previous Mondays with Mike, you are at a stage in your life at 61 years old where you start to ask yourself the questions about catching a break.
“It feels like I have not achieved enough and can’t get a break.” Alright, those are two different things: can’t achieve enough, and can’t get a break. Ask yourself this question: “Is there ever enough for you?” Success, time, money, love, people… is there ever enough for you? And if there’s not, that’s a problem and you need to deal with that – work on being present and grateful for what you currently have. Finally, you can’t get a break. Well, you gotta look for the breaks! I feel that way some days. Come on, it’s 2020! I remember New Year’s Eve of 2020 (and I don’t do resolutions, as most of you know) and I thought we were going to put 2019 behind us, we were going into 2020! So anyway, you’ve gotta find the breaks. Spend time writing down all the good things that happen, and are likely to continue to happen. Live in that space! It does sound like you’re a little discouraged, I’m sorry for that, I don’t want to take all that away from you. I just want you to have a balance.
I hope that answer was helpful!
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