Bias that Help = Failure



Hi everyone, I’m Mike Staver and this is Mondays with Mike, a weekly video series where we answer questions from people just like you. Here’s this week’s question:

I have a bias that I didn’t know I had until I heard you speak. You once said that coaching is not just for those who struggle, but for anyone that wants to achieve positive results. And yet, I’m afraid I still default to: if I need help, there must be something wrong with me. And I don’t provide coaching for those that I lead unless I think something’s wrong with them. My question for you is how you break that pattern?


Dial 1-904-321-0877, sign up for Mike Staver’s coaching! That’s how you do it.

But, I digress. I want you to think about why you have a bias that help equals failure. Because here’s the bigger issue for you to consider. If you believe that help equals failure, what that probably means is that you don’t help people unless they’re failing. Forget getting them a coach, forget getting a coach for yourself, that bias is very negative.

So that means that if I go to you and help you I have to pre-suppose that you’re broken, or you’re flawed, or something is wrong with you. That’s not ok.

You know, I think the smartest, most courageous people I know are people who reach out and say “I’d like to get better at being better. I’d like to get more excellent at things I’m already excellent at.”

So the way you break it, here’s how you do it. Just bite the bullet, hold your nose, and ask for help. Not help because you’re broken, help because you’re courageous enough to say “I can be better. I can be better for those I love, I can be better for those I care about, I can be better for that work for me every day, I can be better for the community I live in, and I’d like an outside perspective on how to be better.” That’s how you break it.

Hope that’s helpful. I’m Mike Staver, this is Mondays with Mike. Take care. Until next week, be courageous.

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