Hi everybody, I’m Mike Staver and this is Mondays with Mike, a weekly video series where I answer questions from people like you. I guess they’re like you, but they’re people that’s for sure! Here we go, here’s the question:
Dear Mike, I’m the leader of a group of about 20 people. I just got a 360 report back [Just so everybody knows, a 360 report is when everybody in the organization gives you a performance evaluation. It’s kinda scary, a little bit scary.] and I’m very discouraged by the feedback. The group basically said that I don’t treat people kindly and that I tend to be unclear in my expectations. It’s obvious from the feedback what I need to do.
My question for you is how do I handle my resentment and anger toward the people that did the survey? Then how do I improve without it feeling like, well, ‘now I have to improve because I was told to’? I don’t want to be a soft, wishy-washy leader. I lead the way I do because it gets results.
Yeah, I coach a lot of people like you with your question and here’s the challenge that you have, with all due respect… I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman… With all due respect sir or ma’am, you got the feedback, listen to the feedback. The feedback’s a gift. You don’t have to be wishy-washy to be nice. You can be clear and still be nice. You can set clear expectations and still be nice. You can get work done and still get feedback that you need. Right?
You need to be clearer in your expectations, and you need to be kinder! That’s not wishy-washy, that’s just what decent leaders do. But I understand the feeling of a 360 review, I do 360 reviews on executives and they often have the same reaction. I think you need to change your mindset of a gift. You were gifted with the feedback. Receive it openly, understand it, and accept it and then go from there. Then, invite your people in to give you more feedback on how you can be more effective as a leader. It’s a team thing. The way you deal with the feelings is to shift the mindset from ‘I was accused’ to ‘I was helped’ by the feedback.
If that doesn’t work, then you probably want to get a coach or somebody that can help you out to kind of process it, because it can be a shock sometimes.
I hope that was helpful. I’m Mike Staver, this is Mondays with Mike and until next week, be courageous. If you need to send in a question or would like to, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll work you in. Take care.