Hi, everybody, I’m Mike Staver. This is Mondays with Mike, a weekly video series where I answer questions from people just like you. This question is pretty straightforward.
“Recently, I heard you speak about perspective and focus. You talked about moving toward and moving away. Please work that into a Mondays with Mike so I can understand it better.”
Consider it moved into a Mondays with Mike. Here’s what it is. In life, you’re going to be doing one of two things. You’re going to be moving towards something, or you’re going to be moving away from something. If you’re moving away from something, it is likely that the reason you’re doing it is because there’s some pain or fear attached to it.
Let me give you a really simple example. Let’s say you wanted to lose weight. This weight that you wanted to lose had been hanging on for a while and so you say, “I want to lose weight.” That is moving away from something. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I’m just saying the better idea is, “I want to move toward a healthier lifestyle. I want to move towards something that makes me feel better about my body, my energy,” because here’s what happens. The brain doesn’t work well in a vacuum. In fact, the brain doesn’t work well in a vacuum at all. If I say I want to lose weight, or I want to stop gaining weight, then what’s the alternative? What does that mean and how much is enough? Are you moving towards something? You could lose weight, have really bad dietary habits, and it’ll bounce right back.
What I want you to think about is I want you to think about pivoting to what you’re moving toward, because if you move towards something, you have opportunity. If you move away from something, it’s generally triggered in your fight or flight response. There’s something there that’s scary. There’s something there I don’t want. There’s something there I don’t like, which gives us an opportunity to avoid what’s in front of us. There’s a reason that the windshield of your car is probably 20 or 30 times bigger than your rearview mirror. It’s because where you focus matters. If you lived your whole life in your rearview mirror, you’d wreck your car pretty often.
That’s the difference. The difference is what I move away from is generally something negative, fear based, that kind of thing. If I’m moving toward it, it’s generally opportunity focused and gives me an opportunity to have my brain focused on the destination, instead of what I’m trying to avoid.
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