Hi, everybody. This is Mike Staver, a weekly video series where I answer questions from people like you. If you have a question you can send it to me, I’ll tell you how at the end. Here’s this week’s question, “Mike, I’ve been a student of your wisdom for many years, and I’m thankful for your insight and the growth it has assisted me with in both my professional and personal life.” Gosh, that’s so nice. You’ve been a student of mine for years.
“I have this question for you. Is it okay to quit giving input and feedback to someone who always asked for your time and assistance, yet never applies your advice and keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over? Forever your student.”
That’s the most romantic question. Well, let me say this to you, Forever my student. If I quit giving feedback because people didn’t listen to me, I wouldn’t have a job. The fact is, that a lot of times– I get paid some money. People pay me pretty good amount of money and often they don’t do what I suggested. This show would be an example.
Here’s what I suggest. First of all, when they ask for your feedback, don’t quit giving it to them, because that’ll look like you’re strong arming them. What I would do instead is I would say, “I’m curious, it seems like you ask me a lot for my counsel and advice, but when I give it to you, you don’t really execute on it. How can I be more encouraging and supportive without necessarily giving you advice?” Sometimes people just need validation, or they need a secondary opinion, that kind of thing. That’s what I would do. I wouldn’t just quit.
“–your advice and keeps repeating the same mistakes in their life.” Now, I don’t know who this person is, Forever my student. I love that though. I’m going to make you famous. I’m going to be telling the story forever. If it’s your kid, or whatever, and they’re not listening, eventually your energy is going to be wasted, but I would just say, “Hey, look, I feel like you ask me, I share it with you, nothing really changes. I’m wondering if there’s a better pattern or strategy we can use that would be more effective.” I hope that’s helpful.
Be courageous. Until next time, take care.
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