Episode Summary
In this week’s episode, Mike Staver addresses a question from a listener frustrated by a team member who is constantly “playing the victim.” Mike acknowledges that without the full context, it’s important to consider whether the person may genuinely have reasons to feel victimized—such as being picked on or lacking resources—but assumes for this coaching that the concern is valid. He empathizes with how aggravating this behavior can be, especially when it leads to a lack of initiative and unwillingness to take responsibility in team settings.
Mike’s advice is to start by raising your concerns with the team lead, specifically pointing out the pattern of avoiding responsibility during meetings. In team discussions, he suggests asking the individual what changes they could make, focusing on actions within their control. If they deny any possibility for change, offer experiments or ask them if they’d be willing to try something new. If you have authority over the person, he recommends a direct conversation urging them to take more initiative and leverage resources better. For those without direct responsibility, your best option is to invite collaboration and experiment with new approaches together.
Key Takeaways
- Start by communicating your observations with the team lead regarding the repeated victim behavior.
- In team meetings, ask “What could you do, given what you have control over, to affect change?” to encourage responsibility.
- If the individual expresses helplessness, invite them to try alternatives or experiments.
- Use your authority, if applicable, to directly request greater initiative and resourcefulness.
- For team members not reporting to you, collaboration and experimentation are your primary tools.
Notable Quotes
- “What could you do given what you have control over to affect that change?”
- “If the answer is no, there’s only so much you can do.”
- “I would like for you to take more initiative and leverage your resources better. Hope that’s helpful.”
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