Hi everybody, this is Mondays with Mike, a weekly video series where I answer questions from people just like you.
When does a habit or a preference become a problem? Here’s what I mean. I tend to run late all the time. My husband does not, in fact he is obnoxiously on time. He said it is a matter of manners, I agree with him. I just always think I can get one more thing done etc. So, whenever we’re going somewhere together, he has started giving me a countdown before he says he is leaving. Don’t get me wrong, I actually appreciate it, he’s not a jerk about it. So when is a habit or a strong preference a problem?
A habit or preference becomes a problem when the consequences of that habit or preference have a negative impact over time. Everybody’s late occasionally, everybody runs behind occasionally, everybody has challenges occasionally, everybody has bad behavior occasionally. So that does not create a problem. But a habit or a preference becomes a problem when it has a negative impact on people, circumstances, the environment, or whatever it is over a specific period of time.
Does having a cigarette occasionally have a negative impact over a long period of time? Probably not, if it’s just once a month or something, but if you’re like an exhaust pipe and you’re blowing out four or five packs a day… that’s going to have a negative impact. If you continue to be late then people are going to stop asking you out to dinner, stop wanting to meet you for things. I actually agree with your husband, I think in this case it is about manners. You don’t want to play games about saying “I always tell them half an hour early…” right?
So, if your habit or preference starts to have a negative impact over time, whether that negative impact is as simple as just rudeness or whether it is your health, how other people feel valued etc., then that’s a negative impact over time. So, just be on time! Also show this to your husband, see if he agrees.
I hope that was helpful, take care.
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