Episode Summary
In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers a nuanced question about obligations as a coach when supporting both a direct report and their supervisor—especially if the direct report is unhappy and considering a career change, but hasn’t disclosed this to their boss.
Mike clarifies that as a coach, your primary obligation is not to break confidentiality or act without the client’s permission. Instead, your responsibility lies in encouraging openness and direct communication: you should guide your client to have honest conversations with their supervisor and express their dissatisfaction in a clear, constructive manner. He stresses the importance of teaching clients to be forthright and handle difficult discussions early on, rather than waiting until they’re ready to quit. If you haven’t coached the individual to initiate these conversations long before a resignation, he suggests, you’ve missed an essential coaching opportunity.
He also notes that, while most situations benefit from direct communication, exceptions can exist in toxic work environments where speaking up could be harmful. Ultimately, Mike underscores the coach’s role as a champion for their clients’ best interests—helping them gain the skills and courage to address issues head-on and authentically.
Key Takeaways
- As a coach, you have no obligation to disclose a client’s intent to leave to their supervisor. Your duty is to maintain confidentiality.
- The real responsibility is to encourage and equip clients to have direct, honest conversations about dissatisfaction well before it leads to a resignation.
- Help clients build communication skills for clear, vulnerable, and authentic interactions, even when those conversations are difficult.
- Early and honest communication allows for better planning and potential resolution. Waiting too long often limits options for both parties.
- In toxic work environments, the advice may need to be nuanced for client safety.
Notable Quotes
- “It is your responsibility to encourage that person to be direct and forthright with their boss.”
- “If you did not coach that direct report to have the ‘I’m unhappy’ conversation a long time before they decided to quit, you failed as a coach.”
- “Your job is to represent their best interest. And their best interest is to teach them how to have direct, clear, difficult conversations so they can learn how to assert their dissatisfaction so that it can be worked out.”
- “Most people wait too long in a relationship to communicate when what they need to do is show up in a meaningful way and… speak truth, be vulnerable, be authentic.”
Mike Staver is the CEO and Founder of The Staver Group, a proven leadership development firm dedicated to improving organizational performance by closing the gap between intentions and execution. To learn more about working with Mike and The Staver Group, email info@mikestaver.com.
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