Hi everybody, I’m Mike Staver, this is Mondays with Mike, a weekly video series where I answer questions from people just like you. Here’s this week’s question:
Dear Mike, there are those at the company where I work that are the worst gossips in the world. I try to stay away from them when they gossip, but it’s like a smell… no matter where I go it follows. And one of these gossips is a good friend. Any thoughts on how to avoid being around gossips?
Yeah. There are two pieces to gossip. The first piece is speaking gossip. The second piece is listening to gossip. If you’re listening to gossip you’re just as guilty as the person sharing it.
So what you do when they gossip is say “I’ll tell you what. When we’re done talking about this particular person, let’s continue the conversation.” That’s the first thing. The second thing, if they’re gossiping about a person, I will generally say to them “Why don’t you and I go to that person and share this information with them, because I’m sure it’s information that they’d like to hear.”
Somebody very close to me recently was hurt very deeply by some bad gossip that they heard third hand. And I will tell you, as you’ve already articulated in this question, it’s very destructive. So don’t be a listener of it. When you hear it, say “I’m going to check out of this conversation, I’m not that comfortable talking about them.” Or say “Why don’t we go talk to them together and then all three of us can address it.”
Ok! Gossip’s a little bit like sipping on poison. The longer you do it, the sicker you get. So avoid it wherever possible. Hope that was helpful! I’m Mike Staver this is Mondays with Mike. Until next week, be courageous.
