This morning I read a quote: “That which we settle for takes up space for what we really want in life.” Pretty powerful, right?
When we resist change, it is usually because of fear. Fear and anxiety are ALWAYS created because our minds create a scary story about ‘THE FUTURE’. Contrary to popular opinion, we can’t fear the unknown, the past or the present. The only thing we can fear is what we think might happen in the future (even if the future is in the next minute.) The worse that thing is, the more we think about what might happen and the more uncomfortable we become.
The tricky part is that we are often unaware of these scary predictions about the future and so are unable to conquer them. The smart people at Oxford University did research on fear and anxiety. They found that people who clearly understand the scary story they are telling themselves and then create a clear and compelling plan to cope with it are able to almost completely eliminate irrational fears.
Nothing eliminates fear or hesitation faster than doing something – anything – to move against the resistance. Don’t wait to be ready, or to have time, or to get approval, etc. Remember that waiting until you feel comfortable is a waste of time. Often there is a tug of war between the desire for freedom and the chains of obligation. Interestingly, you are holding both ends of the rope.
THE 6 POWER QUESTIONS
Be clear about the thing that you are resisting or being afraid of … Remember that the reason it feels so uncomfortable is because of that scary story about what will happen if you do it. It may be that consciously you are unaware so just accept the fact that resistance and fear can ONLY come from a prediction (a negative or frightening prediction) about the future.
If I: (you fill in the blank)
What is the very worst thing that could happen? Don’t rationalize. Actually force yourself to think through the worst case scenario if you took that vacation. Even write it down.
What is the best thing that could happen? Allow yourself to be so open-minded that you feel the exhilaration of all the cool things that could happen in your life if you took a two week vacation to Hawaii. Mentally, physically, emotionally, what are all the best things that could happen?
What’s the most likely thing that will happen if you take that two week vacation?
Now that you have clarity about all three scenarios, it’s time to look at how you would cope with each:
What is your specific plan if the worst thing happens? Don’t use cliches or any other rationalizations. Develop a specific plan of what you would do if the worst thing happens. Write it down.
What is your specific plan if the best thing happens?
What is your specific plan if the most likely thing happens?
Now that your mind knows all the danger and knows how to cope there is one last thing I suggest: Do not allow yourself to turn your personal power and control over to anything or anyone else. Do not allow yourself the luxury of waiting for circumstances to be right or for someone to give you permission.
TAKE ACTION NOW.
Thank you for allowing me to share in your journey!