I know, I know, you are probably thinking you find both fault and favor. Admittedly, some people are balanced in their view of people and events but for the most part everyone has a bias.Everyone tends to lean one way or the other. Everyone, that is, that has any real interaction with people or life events.
There is not enough space here to speculate about all the possible reasons for the bias, so let’s just agree that most people have a tendency to find more fault than favor or more favor than fault.
Which are you?
When you observe people, do you tend to filter their behavior through the lens of what they are doing wrong or how it could be improved? Is there a tendency to be stingy with acknowledgment or appreciation? Are you hard to satisfy? When I was about 12 years old, I had a friend whose Dad was a fault-finder. I will never forget washing their cars with my buddies one weekend to make some extra money. When we finished and asked about getting paid his Dad came out to review our work. He looked the cars over closely and pointed to an obscure spot on the rear fender and said, “you missed a spot.” Are you a missed spot kind of person?
On the other hand, are you the kind of person that finds favor? Do you go out of your way to acknowledge progress over perfection? Are you able to overlook minor flaws in performance or behavior? Do you meaningfully point out where people are winning and doing well? Can you feel satisfied with your own behavior and performance? How much of your energy is spent seeing what is right or good in people?
Obviously, there are times when finding fault is necessary. For this month, work to find favor and reserve your fault-finding to those things that REALLY need it.
