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Do you learn or do you just notice?
Every day, we are faced with opportunities to learn or just notice. I was recently speaking with a client; talking about how many times some people must go through the same thing over and over again before they really learn. And sometimes even then they don’t learn. The difference between learning and noticing comes in…
Do you know the difference between your gut and your guilt?
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day who was working through a challenge. During the conversation they kept saying that their gut was telling them to do ‘X’. I stopped them mid-sentence the next time they went down that road and said, “Is that your gut or your guilt?” Turns out…
What do you think about when times are tough?
Every day we are faced with challenges in our personal and professional lives. These challenges are sometimes controllable but often are not. The fact is we are either dealing with a difficult issue now, or are about to, or have just finished dealing with one. Now, don’t you feel better? The key to success has…
Are you smarter than a sea turtle?
I was snorkeling yesterday off Maui. Once the initial part of the adventure was complete, the captain of our boat said we were going to pull anchor and go look for sea turtles to dive with. That’s exactly what we did. When I got back on the boat, the first mate asked us some sea…
Obstacles or opportunities? Where is your focus?
We live in a real world with real problems that are really challenging. It is foolish to attempt to dilute that reality with cheesy clichés or platitudes. The fact is, Nietzsche was wrong: it is not always true that “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” It is not always true that “every cloud has…
How effective are you at graduations?
Maxx, my step son, just graduated from High School on Saturday. Last week we spent 2.5 days at his college orientation at The University of Central Florida (GO KNIGHTS). During the orientation, there was a presenter who talked about staying connected and letting go in your relationship with the student. As I was listening, it…
How do you deal with challenging people?
Last week I was asked by a coaching client to help her deal with a direct report who was challenging to her. The direct report kept sticking her nose into things that were none of her business. This nosiness was not only distracting and annoying, but it took focus off the work that needed to…
Is your life about transition or transformation?
You and I experience about 20,000 moments a day. Negative, positive, or neutral, they are moments nonetheless. Many of those moments result in change–change in thought, change of plans, change of attitude, etc. My questions for you this month are: Are the changes that happen in your life and work simply transitions, or are they…
How realistic are you?
As most of you know, I returned from riding my Harley around the perimeter of the USA on Labor Day weekend. It was a 40 day adventure that’s hard to put into words. I was asked many questions during the 6 weeks, but the one that was the most interesting was, “How can you just…
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MONDAYS WITH MIKE POST ARCHIVE
How to Address Toxic Behavior in a Defensive Employee
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses a common leadership dilemma: how to confront toxic behavior without triggering defensiveness. Drawing from his personal experience working with defensive individuals, Mike Staver shares the practical techniques he’s found most helpful—while acknowledging that no approach is foolproof. He emphasizes…
How to Use Questions to Diffuse Tension in a Meeting
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver delves into the art of defusing tension during meetings—a critical leadership skill for maintaining a constructive environment and fostering effective collaboration. Responding to a viewer’s question about coaching techniques to ease tense situations, Mike stresses the first essential step: acknowledging the tension in…
How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses a common personal development question: “How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty?” Drawing from his coaching expertise, Mike Staver explains that guilt stems from the belief that you’ve done something wrong, whereas shame comes from believing you are bad. He emphasizes…
How to Help a Coaching Client Identify Their True Priorities
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers the question: How do I help someone identify their true priorities? Drawing on his experience as a coach, Mike Staver discusses the foundational steps to guiding individuals, whether personally or within organizations, to recognize and align with what matters most. For personal…
How to Change the Energy of a Resistant Team
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses the challenge of changing the energy within a team that persistently resists their leader’s suggestions. Mike uses a real-world approach, recommending that leaders foster open conversations rather than playing the authority card. He shares the importance of surfacing and addressing the root…
How to Balance Coaching and KPIs
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses the practical challenge: How do leaders balance coaching their direct reports with achieving key performance indicators (KPIs) when time is short? Using the relatable analogy of car dashboards, Mike clarifies that KPIs are simply tools to measure the performance and progress…
How to Encourage More Authentic Feedback in the Workplace
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver tackles the important question: How do you encourage more honest communication? Drawing from his coaching experience, Mike Staver explores why fostering authenticity and openness is critical, yet so often lacking in organizations. He begins by emphasizing that creating a safe environment is the single…
How to Coach the Constantly Overwhelmed
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver tackles the question: “How do I coach somebody who’s always overwhelmed?” Drawing on his experience coaching within organizations, Mike emphasizes that the first and most important step is diagnosis—understanding exactly what is causing the overwhelm. He outlines that overwhelm can stem from too…
How to Help Clients Discover Their Blind Spots
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver tackles the practical question: “What’s a simple way to identify blind spots in a person?” Drawing from his coaching experience, Mike shares a straightforward approach—don’t accuse, but rather invite awareness by gently asking if someone has noticed a particular behavior. For example, he…
Your Obligations as a Coach
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers a nuanced question about obligations as a coach when supporting both a direct report and their supervisor—especially if the direct report is unhappy and considering a career change, but hasn’t disclosed this to their boss. Mike clarifies that as a coach,…
When to Consider Coaching
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers a common leadership and personal development question: When is the right time to consider coaching, either for yourself or for someone you manage? Mike provides a straightforward guideline: coaching is valuable when the results you’re getting don’t align with your intentions.…
Coaching for Accountability
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers the question: How can I coach my team to take more ownership? Drawing on his coaching expertise, Mike explores the foundational elements of fostering true ownership within a team. He emphasizes that the key is to clearly define expected outcomes, then empower…
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