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Do you find fault or favour?
I know, I know, you are probably thinking you find both fault and favor. Admittedly, some people are balanced in their view of people and events but for the most part everyone has a bias.Everyone tends to lean one way or the other. Everyone, that is, that has any real interaction with people or life…
Dealing with conflict
Conflict is a fact of life. I have spent the majority of my life in conflict…well not actually IN conflict, but at least helping people through it. Even though I know how to handle conflict, it is not always easy. It is important to remember that you aren’t supposed to enjoy it. But there are…
Do you understand people?
I was listening to a couple of people in a conflict the other day. As I listened, I noticed something so glaringly obvious that I had to make this month’s RESULTS about it. As the two struggled to communicate, the conflict seemed to get more frustrating for both of them. It’s not like the conflict…
What is going on?
This month I want to share a brief message that my friend sent to his staff after the Dallas shooting. Leo Ardine is the CEO of United Teletech Credit Union in New Jersey. His daughter sent him a text expressing her sadness about the recent tragedies going on in our country. His response moved me…
Are you ‘out of the box’?
Those of you that have been reading this blog for a while realize that I really dislike clichés. In fact, I dislike them so much that I regularly make fun of them. So you may be puzzled as to why I chose the first comments of 2013 to have a cliché at their core. The…
Do you jump to conclusions?
A few days ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who was very upset about a text message she received from someone she was dating. On and on she went over what it said…..and the “attitude and emotion” of the text. Clearly there is no emotion in a text, and people certainly can’t…
Has a lack of clarity ever created trouble for you?
It has for me, THAT’S for sure. At the time of this writing, the Malaysian Airlines 777 hasn’t been found. Not only has it not been found but it seems that those at the airline are wandering around in the wilderness. Were it not for the support and help of the international community there is…
Communicating with the opposite gender
WARNING: Contrary to my usual tendency, I am writing a much longer newsletter this month. I STRONGLY urge you to read the whole thing. Recently I have received numerous requests for this topic and so I am giving you the full meal deal this month. Be open to what you read here… it will make…
How politically correct are you?
I am very tired of having to watch everything I say to make sure I don’t offend anyone. Sure, I understand there are some things that are unquestionably offensive and I do my absolute best not to offend anyone intentionally, but come on!! Christmas Day is a national holiday – do we all understand that?…
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MONDAYS WITH MIKE POST ARCHIVE
How to Help a Client Improve Self-Awareness
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver explores the delicate process of guiding someone to the realization that their actions, not their character, may be causing problems. Drawing on his coaching experience, Mike explains why it’s crucial to uncouple a person’s behavior from their identity. Rather than…
How to Address Toxic Behavior in a Defensive Employee
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses a common leadership dilemma: how to confront toxic behavior without triggering defensiveness. Drawing from his personal experience working with defensive individuals, Mike Staver shares the practical techniques he’s found most helpful—while acknowledging that no approach is foolproof. He emphasizes…
How to Use Questions to Diffuse Tension in a Meeting
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver delves into the art of defusing tension during meetings—a critical leadership skill for maintaining a constructive environment and fostering effective collaboration. Responding to a viewer’s question about coaching techniques to ease tense situations, Mike stresses the first essential step: acknowledging the tension in…
How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses a common personal development question: “How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty?” Drawing from his coaching expertise, Mike Staver explains that guilt stems from the belief that you’ve done something wrong, whereas shame comes from believing you are bad. He emphasizes…
How to Help a Coaching Client Identify Their True Priorities
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers the question: How do I help someone identify their true priorities? Drawing on his experience as a coach, Mike Staver discusses the foundational steps to guiding individuals, whether personally or within organizations, to recognize and align with what matters most. For personal…
How to Change the Energy of a Resistant Team
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses the challenge of changing the energy within a team that persistently resists their leader’s suggestions. Mike uses a real-world approach, recommending that leaders foster open conversations rather than playing the authority card. He shares the importance of surfacing and addressing the root…
How to Balance Coaching and KPIs
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver addresses the practical challenge: How do leaders balance coaching their direct reports with achieving key performance indicators (KPIs) when time is short? Using the relatable analogy of car dashboards, Mike clarifies that KPIs are simply tools to measure the performance and progress…
How to Encourage More Authentic Feedback in the Workplace
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver tackles the important question: How do you encourage more honest communication? Drawing from his coaching experience, Mike Staver explores why fostering authenticity and openness is critical, yet so often lacking in organizations. He begins by emphasizing that creating a safe environment is the single…
How to Coach the Constantly Overwhelmed
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver tackles the question: “How do I coach somebody who’s always overwhelmed?” Drawing on his experience coaching within organizations, Mike emphasizes that the first and most important step is diagnosis—understanding exactly what is causing the overwhelm. He outlines that overwhelm can stem from too…
How to Help Clients Discover Their Blind Spots
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver tackles the practical question: “What’s a simple way to identify blind spots in a person?” Drawing from his coaching experience, Mike shares a straightforward approach—don’t accuse, but rather invite awareness by gently asking if someone has noticed a particular behavior. For example, he…
Your Obligations as a Coach
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers a nuanced question about obligations as a coach when supporting both a direct report and their supervisor—especially if the direct report is unhappy and considering a career change, but hasn’t disclosed this to their boss. Mike clarifies that as a coach,…
When to Consider Coaching
” allowfullscreen=”allowfullscreen”> Episode Summary In this episode of Mondays with Mike, host Mike Staver answers a common leadership and personal development question: When is the right time to consider coaching, either for yourself or for someone you manage? Mike provides a straightforward guideline: coaching is valuable when the results you’re getting don’t align with your intentions.…
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